Simplicity on wings

Butterflies have been numerous around my office complex in recent weeks. Today, while taking in the view of trees, hills, and river from near the top of the parking garage (where I often go to stretch my legs for a minute), I noticed a small but constant flow of butterflies heading up over the garage. Some would accidentally head into the level where I was standing before reversing course and continuing upwards. I strolled onto the roof and watched as small numbers of butterflies paralleled the roof before continuing up the hill into the trees above. I know nothing about butterflies, but I assume this is part of some sort of daily migration. Something makes them head downhill in the morning, and then, when the sun passes its peak, something tells them to head back up. No questions, just something they do on instinct. Fly here, fly there, eat, try not to be eaten, mate, die. Doesn't sound terribly rewarding. But for an instant, I couldn't help but envy the simplicity...

Something to look forward to

Everything feels fine if I don't think about the future. Living day to day can even be fun. But you can't ignore the future. You can't fail to plan for it. At some point, there has to be something out there to strive for, some reason for going through the day besides earning a paycheck. The biggest thing I'm looking forward to right now is finishing the latest photo updates to Home Dipu and sending that out. Oooooooh. All together now: Excitement City.

I'm not ungrateful that things are going okay right now, knock on wood. I'm talking about the future. I don't dread the future, but I'm not eagerly anticipating it either. Life is holding a stick out in front of me but forgot to attach the carrot.

I suppose I should force myself to go out and join some club or league or something, though I don't know what (I'm already in a tennis league, but that's been a bust socially). Forcing myself to do something on my birthday actually worked. I'd been so uninspired that I could barely decide what I wanted to do that day. But the ACL Fest rejuvenated me and, inspired by that, I ended up having a great, fun, and much-needed celebration. But that was with a bunch of my friends; judging from my demeanor at work, I'm not exactly a ray of sunshine with people I don't know right now. So I'm not sure how much joining some club would help. It's all about attitude, and clearly, mine isn't the best at the moment.

Anyone else going through something similar right now, or have in the past? Any roadmaps out of here? Feeling blah about the future is not very exciting. I need something to look forward to...

Lost in Google Earth

First, if you think I've missed a few days of my "14 posts in 14 days" mission, you haven't been reading Home Dipu Reviews. And mine aren't even the only new reviews; Babs posted one too! So check that blog out if you haven't already. And post!

Second, I'm not gonna add a long post today because I got distracted tonight by Google Earth. While talking with my parents a short while ago, I finally downloaded the Google Earth app and started playing around with it. Then I spent almost an hour on the phone with my mom touring places we've been in Jakarta, Indonesia, and trying to locate my late grandmother's neighborhood. Googling your own house is one thing, but Googling someplace you're sorta familiar with but only visit once a decade that's 12,000 miles away is kinda cool. And the interface is pretty cool too, the way you can spin the globe and rotate the angle and all that.

So, that's today's post. Download Google Earth and play around with it, why doncha?

The Rolling Stones!

Just last month, a bunch of us spent 3 days in Zilker Park for the annual Austin City Limits Music Festival. This past Sunday, Anita, Tom, Trish, Brian, and I had momentary deja vu as we walked down the same road into the same entrance to the same park, along with 41,995 other people. Yes, we were among the estimated 42,000 people who went to see the biggest band to come through Austin in I don't know how long. Yes, the Rolling Stones actually played a concert in Austin!! Can you believe it?

So, despite not being hardcore Stones fans, the five of us couldn't pass up the chance to see one of rock's biggest bands of all time playing in our very own fair city -- with no road trip to San Antonio, Houston, or Dallas necessary! (Yes, you people in giant metropolises get huge bands all the time; let us have our moment in the spotlight, okay?)

Yes, the tickets were pricey, especially considering that only bought us the right to sit on blankets in Zilker Park (no folding chairs allowed, unlike at the ACL Fest). With tens of thousands of tickets being sold, would we even be able to see anything? Would us casual fans enjoy the show? Would the expense be worth it? Or were we just falling victim to the hype?

The weather was perfect, cool and dry. We took a midafternoon bus to Zilker Park...

Click photo to enlarge

...and arrived around 4:30 pm along with a mass of humanity. Here's the stage (that parking garage-looking thing), seen from the middle of Zilker Park. The PR I read claims it's the world's biggest stage. Took 6 days to set up. Some people set up their base camps all the way back here for some reason.

Click photo to enlarge

We set up what we thought was a decent base camp until some guy went from one person to the next claiming that better spots were still available farther up. Brian and I scouted ahead, and sure enough, prime real estate remained at the edge. So we got much closer, much better seats that we could have imagined. Binoculars still came in handy, but we were a lot closer than we'd ever gotten to some of the big acts at ACL.

A lot of the equipment and even many of the signs were the same ones used at the ACL Fest, so it felt very much like just another day at ACL at first. Once we were settled near the stage, though, with that giant structure looming in front of us ... as Anita said, it didn't feel like we were in Austin anymore.

There were two opening acts; I forget the first guy (Tom says he used to write songs for Rod Stewart's band Faces), and Los Lonely Boys. The first guy was eh; Los Lonely Boys seemed decent. Trish and I didn't actually get to see Los Lonely Boys; we ended up standing in the T-shirt line for their entire set, so we only heard them play from a distance. Stupid T-shirt buyers insisted on seeing every shirt and taking forever. No big loss, though. The main disappointment was that they'd sold out of the special edition Longhorns/Rolling Stones Austin-exclusive shirt. Leigh (who we happened to run into despite being amongst 42,000 people) managed to snag one before they ran out:

Click photo to enlarge

Trish and I ended up buying some consolation Stones apparel instead.

After sunset, it was time for the main event. The opening fireworks proved that this was, as Brian said, a "mega-rock show." Here's some footage from their entrance; note that this video is about 62 MB, so it may take a little while to load:

The Stones' opening number ("You Got Me Rocking")
Click to play movie (62.4 MB, 3:00 min)

So how were the geriatric rockers? Back in the late '80s, the Rolling Stones started off their Steel Wheels Tour. The joke du jour was that they were so old, it should be called the Steel Wheelchairs Tour. And yet here it is, 17 years later, and Mick Jagger & Co. can still rock like nobody's business! Mick sure didn't seem to be in his 60s! He ran around that stage as well as any 30-year-old rocker could:

He's in his 60s?!
Click photo to enlarge

Watch Mick toward the end of this clip running down the runway that leads away from the stage. In case you can't tell, near the end, Mick is the tiny but bright white object in the middle of the screen, just below Brian's cheering hands. And bear in mind, this was near the end of their 2-hour show!

"Brown Sugar"
Click to play movie (50.9 MB, 2:26 min)

The giant parking garage-like stage was pretty damn cool. And yes, there are people seated in those levels of the "garage" too ... seats that probably cost 10 times what we paid:

The giant stage
Click photo to enlarge

The Stones played for about 2 hours, pretty much non-stop. They had a very good mix of their classics along with some lesser-known tunes. Among the classics: "Satisfaction"...

"Satisfaction"
Click to play movie (72.7 MB, 3:29 min)

... and "Sympathy for the Devil"...

"Sympathy for the Devil"
Click to play movie (29.7 MB, 1:25 min)

Nothing was a dud, although it slowed down a little when Jagger handed the reins over to Keith Richards for about half an hour while he went backstage to do whatever or whomever he does to recharge. But they roared back with "Start Me Up." I was coming back from the port-o-potties and didn't make it back to base camp before the song ended, so the video I took was from pretty far away. But you can still hear a sampling:

"Start Me Up"
Click to play movie (15.8 MB, 0:45 min)

We weren't allowed to have flags, unlike at ACL, so finding base camp was a bit more of a challenge. Fortunately, Brian identified some landmarks for us, but I still got lost twice before finding base camp. But it was worth it to have that location. Even with only a 3x optical zoom, I managed to get some decent shots. Here's one of the shots that I'm happiest with. If you click for the full-sized photo, you can even see their expressions:

The Rolling Stones rock Zilker Park
Click photo to enlarge

Of course, the giant screens helped us see the band even better than our cameras and binoculars:

Mick and Keith on the giant screen
Click photo to enlarge

But I still say we were far closer than we could've hoped to get to the stage with 42,000 people in attendance. I was extremely happy with our location:

Life-sized Mick on the left, giant-sized Mick on the screen

Click photo to enlarge

They even came out for an encore and performed two more songs ("You Can't Always Get What You Want," below, and "Brown Sugar," linked earlier) despite the fact that it was just past the alleged 10 pm cutoff time. I guess everyone makes exceptions for the Stones!

"You Can't Always Get What You Want"
Click to play movie (30.7 MB, 1:28 min)


"You Can't Always Get What You Want" audience participation time
Click to play movie (7.1 MB, 0:20 min)

Simply put, this was an amazing show. Totally worth it. And now I can say I've seen the Rolling Stones live and in concert!

So to close, here's one final video, the closing fireworks and the curtain call for the band. I've got the storage space and plenty of bandwidth (no pun intended), so click away on the videos and photos and enjoy!

Closing fireworks and bows
Click to play movie (20.6 MB, 0:59 min)

Uncreativity

I know, I haven't exactly written any gems as part of this 14-day blogfest so far. Gotta shake the rust off, I guess. The perils of forcing yourself to write. But, I suppose that's fitting, since I've realized that this month, I've felt very uncreative. September was a whirwind of activity, between the ACL Festival and the slew of birthdays that month. October has been relatively quiet as a result, and I think that's been a factor in my uncreativity. It's just been the daily work grind wearing me down. The isolation at work. Sure, I'm getting used to it, but I don't think that's a good thing, because the result is fairly numbing. And as a result, I haven't felt very inspired to be creative when I get home. The most creative thing I've done lately is editing photos for the main site. Which, okay, does involve some creativity. But I think all the time I've spent Photoshopping lately has been motivated more by a sense of wanting to relive the fun social days of last month than any drive to be creative.

Feeling like I have nothing to look forward to in the short-term doesn't help either. To me, the future looks very blah. Nothing exciting to look forward to. Holidays mean a smaller paycheck. Vacation means no paycheck. Big purchases? Nah, I'm a contractor. No guarantees on anything. It's not as bad as the holding pattern I was in earlier this year, because at least this comes with a paycheck. But it's still a holding pattern of sorts, and it get tiring. And it's very uninspiring. Very blah.

Which all leads to yet another blah entry in my attempt at a blogging rebirth. Oh well. Tomorrow's should be much more interesting, if only for the multimedia aspect that it will have. What's tomorrow's entry about? Well, I can tell you what it's not about: It won't be about shutting me down, you always getting what you want, white sugar, us spending the day together, me getting satisfaction, not remembering my name, or getting onto my cloud. And if you have no idea what I'm talking about, you're, uh, gathering moss...

I brake for symbolism

Earlier this year, I blogged about how a recurring dream I'd had for years, about being unable to open my mouth and speak, stopped when after I figured out and corrected a physical, rather than psychological, reason for the dream. However, every once in awhile I still have that universally classic stress dream that so many of us have, the "oh shit it's the end of the semester and I haven't been to class/studied/forgot to drop the class all year long!" dream. But my most recurring dream has probably been one in which I'm in a car that's moving, and I'm on the verge of losing control because I can't get my feet to the brake pedal in time. The reason? Either my feet are stuck or hindered in some way, or, oddly enough, I'm in the back seat of the car -- even though I'm the driver -- and I'm having trouble climbing over to the front seat. I usually end up taking turns far too fast in these dreams, and many times I will crash into something (though never too hard) or end up rolling towards a cliff.

As with my former recurring dream, I'd always assumed there was some deep-seated psychological or emotional reason for this recurring dream. I mean come on, what seems more tailor-made for symbolism that a recurring dream about losing control? But after I discovered that what triggered my other recurring dream was simply that my pillows were too high, I started to wonder about my out-of-control dream too. An obvious theory would be that my legs get caught up in the bedsheets or something. But I didn't know for sure.

A couple of weeks ago, I finally got my proof. I had another dream where I couldn't reach the pedals in time, but this time I woke up partway. And sure enough, the way I was sleeping, one of my legs was basically pinned underneath me and proved difficult to move. Not quite the "tangled in the bedsheets" theory, but same principle.

I'm not saying there aren't any psychological reasons for these dreams. After all, these physical causes could have manifested themselves in my dreams in other ways. And certainly, any stress dream doesn't come from a purely physical cause. But given that I've eliminated one recurring dream easily and know what causes another, what I'd like to know is, what other recurring dreams do people have that might be explained away much more easily than you might think?

A Marriage of Convenience

While some of my friends have been contractors for years, that way of life never appealed to me. And now, more than 4 months into my life as a contractor, I know why. As I stepped into the elevator Friday evening, tired but not weary, alone but not lonely, it dawned on me: This must be what it feels like to be in a marriage of convenience.

No, I wasn't in love with my previous jobs or companies. But in every case, I'd chosen to be there. Even if things went sour in the end, as they did in one place that rhymes with Hell, things always started out well and offered some improvements over the last job.

However, my current job offers no such advantages. Sure, this is way better than unemployment. But that's about it. I appreciate the paycheck and the employment, don't get me wrong. It's better than sitting at home with no income. But this is not a job I would have picked out for the first dance. Or even the second or third. I might not have even noticed this job if it hadn't been arranged. And if something better had come along, I would've lept at it. But given the choice of this or nothing, well, I'd had enough of nothing.

There's no love in this relationship, though there's no hate either. It's not an abusive relationship. It's perfectly civil. And I know I'll get some twice a month, which, even if it's only obligatory, is still a big improvement over a frequency of zero. But even after 4 months, we still feel like strangers. We aren't compatible; circumstances forced us together. And it's difficult to shake that feeling that you settled for the consolation prize.

Sure, I've learned to live with it. I imagine most people in arranged marriages or marriages of convenience do too. But tolerating something you're not excited about doesn't lead to greater happiness. It just makes everything feel so humdrum instead.

14 posts in 14 days

I know, I've been a terrible blogger lately. Not terrible as in writing terrible entries (well, maybe that too; that's for you to judge). Terrible as in absent. I just haven't felt creative lately. It's not even like I have nothing to write about; I have entries in my head that I planned to write 10 months ago. But I just haven't felt inspired to write lately.

However, CMC passed along an idea that involves bloggers writing an entry every single day in November. I think that's way too ambitious for me. But the idea behind it makes sense. So I'll take it halfway. And I'm not waiting until next month. So, starting today, I'm gonna force it. Both here and on Home Dipu Reviews. Starting today (and, yes, counting this one), I will write one new entry each day for two weeks. Fourteen new entries in a row.

To help me meet this goal, I'm including anything I'll write on Home Dipu Reviews. I've put some of these reviews off for a couple months now; many thanks to Sarah for keeping that blog alive for as long as you did when I was falling down on the job! Unfortunately, Sarah got a lot busier, what with moving and school and all. So, it's up to me to jumpstart that blog back to life. And hopefully at least some of you will feel similarly inspired to start posting your own reviews there again.

So, that's my promise (or threat) to you ... fourteen days, fourteen posts, either here or on Home Dipu Reviews. Granted, there's no real punishment if I fail. But, there you have it. One post down, thirteen to go. I think tomorrow I'll write about life in a marriage of convenience...

WTF?!?

What's up with all the school shootings in the past week?! Even an Amish school?! Hell, even Canada had a school shooting just a couple of weeks ago!! (Okay, it was a college, but still). WTF?!